Don't assume

Please do not assume that I am without my complaints when I do not talk about it. Perhaps it is one of my dad's usual pick-up lines to initiate a conversation with me. But I absolutely hate it. He will start off by saying," Think you are used to your work liao right? Never hear you complain about it and can come home and watch TV then sleep. Should be ok lah hor?" Once or twice of such comments can be tolerated. But not the third time. This time, I retorted back, " Never hear me complain doesn't mean I am fine. I am just too sick and tired to say it out."

Yes, I am tired. Tired of thinking about my work, what to do, what to expect and what to deliver every minute of my life. Can't I just forget about it when I meet up with my friends and when I stay at home? Why do they have to ask me how is my work getting along? Will they understand what I tell them anyway?

Perhaps I am an escapist. Perhaps I am one who keeps the negative sentiments to myself and flare up one day when you step on my mine. Don't assume you know me. I don't even know myself.

P/S: Sorry dad, I know you won't know about this. But I am sorry I can't hold well any conversations carried out at home. I am just too tired.

Mid Autumn Festival

Spent my mid autumn festival in school today (nothing surprising....as usual i suppose)...what to do? The life of a bore. But the pace of my day was relaxed, nothing much planned in my schedule for today and hence i took a walk down to E5 and spent sometime reminiscencing my undergraduate years...

The red benches are still there, but my study mates were no longer here with me. I remember those days when we will hold a group discussion to discuss through tutorials, past year papers and our queries. Sometimes we gossip and crack stupid jokes...still so funny to think about those jokes till today. Hahah...those were the days.

A walk down the aisle of E5 level 2 reminded me how much things have changed since we graduate in 2004. Some of the lecturers we used to tease about privately were no longer here (retrenched, migrated etc). Dr Laksh is thankfully still around..but many new faces whom I never had the opportunity to learn from can also be seen..I think I had lost touch with my ex-department already.

Still in the same school...or rather will still be in this school for another N years? And yet different buildings bring to me different memories...

I live on memories...especially the fond ones.

The difference between my boss and my labmates

Ok, I know I can be pretty incoherent in front of my boss.
I know I blush easily and my heart races like a bunny.
I know I cannot churn out those results you had expected.
I know I don't have much time left.
And I know your funding for this project is going to run dry.
I know my words are jumping from here to there as I am trying to figure out my thoughts in the midst of your piercing glares.
I know, I know, I know.
But do you know how hard we had tried, how much sleep we lose over your words?

Thanks a lot to my labmates who had so readily stepped out to offer consolations (listen finish and that's it lah) and advices (Klenow Fragment, PDMS blah blah) to me...thnks a lot for offering your help when I had been stepped by the giant..it really did help to soothe my sian-nessz.

Botany class: Introducing Portulaca!

Discovered a super easy-to-grow flowering plant that is most suitable for people like me (someone who is actually able to kill a cactus in 2 mths time, set this in the Guiness!). The genus is called Portulaca and the one that can be found in Singapore are of the species grandiflora.

The first time I saw these brightly flowered plants was in Kukup with my lab mates and I was really amazed by the array of different colors they have: yellow, pink (bright pink, dark pink, faint off-whitish pink), orange, violey and red. The second time that I saw it was at my tuition kid's house (yes, I always spend my time daydreaming and lazing around during tuition). They don't need much care at all! All they need is plenty of sunlight and of course watering (but don't need to do it everyday) and perhaps nutrient addition once in a while. Cool! Perfect for lazy gardeners like me!

Got myself a pot of pink and orange Portulaca some weeks ago and they are still surviving. In fact, it was really a pleasant surprise that the supposedly pink ones grew out some off-whitish pink and the orange ones have some pink ones among it! So, you can really get a pleasant surprise out of growing Portulaca.

Just in case you start to think I am the local distributor of Portulaca, I am not...

Why do I care?

Sometimes I wonder why I care so much....

Why do I bother to wash my teeth and face and hair before I step out of my house?
Why do I bother to step out of the house every morning to catch the crowded bus number 33?
Why do I bother to eat breakfast and drink a cup of coffee so as to keep myself awake? Why not just sleep myself to next year?
Why do I bother to try various means and make my research work? When it just doesn't seem to be working along the principles of luck and nature?

Why should I care if my boss is happy or in a foul mood or possibly doing something that may tarnish his reputation?
Why should I care if others around me have eaten or are feeling happy? When they don't seem to be reciprocating and asking me the same questions...
Why should I care if the water in the kettles are always there and enough for all to drink? So auntie......

Why why why? Why am I thinking about all these questions when I am already way past those lost teenage days? Just a thought...not a complaint in any absolute ways. Don't take it to heart...

Our public service

Bus Number: 32 (If only I had paid attention to the bus plate number)
Time: 830pm
Date:8/9

As the bus approaches the bus stop, I tried to flag it down as usual. The bus slowly pulls to a stop and I can see the passengers who wanted to alight standing near to the exit. Usually the doors spring open almost instantaneously BUT this time, after perhaps like 20s, the doors still remain shut. I thought it was another case of a super unreasonable bus driver who refuses to let me up because I didn't flag early/obviously enough (Tonnes of such cases!). However, this time I was pretty sure I am not the one at fault and therefore knocked gently yet adamantly on the door for him to take notice of me.

The stoopid uncle NEVER looked at me no matter how persistent my knocks were! Okay, I know it is not a beauty standing there but for goodness sake! You are the driver at work now! Can you please show some basic courtesy to me!! After perhaps another 20s of wait, the source of all these stupidity revealed. It seems that one of the passengers who was about to alight did not pay for the bus fare and hence the stoopid bus driver didn't want to open both the doors. And when I did finally manage to alight the bus, not a single apology or a smile or a look from the uncle. Hello Uncle!! It is not as if the whole world owe you money ok?!

What turns out to be the most ultimate is that after I had alighted, there was an elderly uncle who wanted to get onto the bus. As the bus pulled over at some distance away from bus stop, he had to spend some time walking to the bus. All these while, his hands were outstretched, making a clear indication to the stoopid uncle to wait for him. The next moment I turned back my head to check it out, I knew that my intuition was right. The stoopid uncle had driven off. Leaving the elderly uncle in a shock.

Discouraging sight of our public service sector. Totally disgusted.

Mad Mad World

Just realised that there are quite a lot of happening people around my house...and every morning when i walked from my house to Tiong Bahru to catch a bus, i will catch a glimpse of them. Both are elderly uncles who seem to be living in their own world, far away from ours.

The first uncle likes to clear all the fallen leaves, litter, flowers...practically anything along the long stretch of pavement with his feet. Not just this. He prays to the sun, to the deities in the Chinese temple nearby and to the cars once every few steps. He clasps his hands, mutter and pray along the long clean pavement that he has created. The only thing that he didn't do was to kneel down and pray. Sounds like a form of pilgrimage he has to do everyday. If i were the deity that he prayed to, perhaps i will just grant him back his sanity.

The second uncle likes to exercise his vocal cords and air his belly button everyday. He is always in the singlet and beige-brown bermudas combination. But what makes him very distinct is that he will walk from my house (yesh! He lives near my block!) to Tiong Bahru (sometimes to Delta Road!!) shouting in a loud basal manner, producing a sound like a coo coo bird (I remember there was once he did that near the park and the coo coo bird there sang back in response!Really!! Imagine how loud it gotta be!) Not just this too. His singlet is always rolled up above his beer belly, revealing his big belly. An open declaration that he got to be five months pregnant at least! Ha!

Most will classify them as mad/crazy people..who might have lost their brains when they retired. Somehow though their antics is a bit unexplainable, i think they are just living in their own world. The normal majority like us, busy with our hectic lifestyle might be the ones who were really crazy. Afterall, what were we really busy with?

I have many questions!

Okie..fine..if u have been free enough to look once again at this neglected blog of fine, you will see the darn obvious change that I had made to the background. Sick of dark colours, will settle for a light background to brighten up the day.

Finally overcome my laziness and tried to see what add-ons i can put to the blog..i dun need a statistics counter, it won't be a very encouraging sight..i cannot see the need to put in the photo album cos i am extremely camera shy and i hate advertisements in my blog. What i need is to add an audio in my blog, so that readers can listen to the nice songs i like when they read through the articles...saw the audio url link that i can add in my profile section and added a song there, but hey! It doesn't seem to be the one which i am talking about! Cheh!

And okie..tried to add a link at the sidebar and can't add it as a URL...think i too lazy to go and find out, juz leave it as it is until i have more time to rot.