Little One

I first saw the Little One, a black-brown kitten with small patches of brown fur at the neck area and at the foot, when I returned back from my Singapore trip. Her meows sounded like whimpers and she scurried around in a hurry, confusing my Kaykay and Popo and in turn able to snatch bites off their wet food. She seems to be able to get along well with both brothers but not the mysterious sister of kaykay and popo. Every time the mysterious sister sees Little One, the mysterious sister will chase after her or fight with her. Sometimes I see the Little One sleep on my tricycle seat, snoozing away. When I came out to feed my brothers, she will run across the road from the school opposite my house, hoping she is in time to eat some.
This night was her last. I didn't expect that. I went out for a jog at 8.35 pm and saw her sitting around the corner of my house dazing. I lured her with a can of food, and she was wolfing down the food in a hurry. Then I went away, hoping she will be able to finish her food in peace.
When I came back after my jog, I saw my Popo and busied myself trying to coax him to eat and leave another cat alone. Then I turned around and I saw a limpless black body on the road. I ran towards it, fearing the worst. And I broke down at the sight. It was the Little One lying on the road - lifeless. Gone. Too soon. Blood from her mouth. No heart beat.
It's heartbreaking knowing that she never managed to grow up. It's heartbreaking to know that she never get to experience a home. Life of a feral is tough. But she is gone too soon.
Did she finish the food I fed her?  Was she  knocked down by the car because she finished her food and was about to go back to the school? What if it is my fault that made her inculcate the habit of crossing the road without regard for cars? I blame myself for not doing enough for my ferals. Can regret bring her back? It was a short one month that I got to know her but it is enough to break my heart.
I buried her in my backyard. I don't want the KAUST pest control unit to dump her body like a piece of garbage....
Rest in peace, Little One. I miss you even though I did not get to know you more.